Recumbent Post guernica above headboard, Michel. slight gormless expression, stroking through bed sheets deep red same as car same as eyes same non committal answer. Michel!
Michel
Once again I sit and furiously type. I’ve got a sigil in hand. Autechre is on. He assumes he is the bad one in a horror scenario. I do not care if he lives or dies. Michel, I am coming up blank to be honest.
I may be surprised satisfied or not surprised. I am unconvinced. I don’t think it is possible to become like what I had thought. An extreme sleaze…. The outer limits look kinda lame!!!!!! Michel!!!
Michel
He asks if I can stand there naked. I say no.
I ask about the urtrans person or gesamtransiton.
Michel
He makes me listen to highly cringe music. Maybe I’ll try to get merzbow on?
Michel
Maybe I am thinking of a space more than a person
Michel
I’ve got the sigil. It must be binned in here. Actually, I revise, it can’t. I think he’s stupid.
I leave, I can’t stop thinking about where I am, I construct a fear that I was the last person to ever see him.
I want to tear my skin off a little
The morgellons begin again to traverse my surface.
Michel
17 Green law. Ground floor green door
I have invented such novel ways to hurt myself
I have invented such novel ways to hurt myself
I have invented such novel ways to hurt myself.
Everyone thinks I am fucked in the head
Everyone wants to fuck me in the head
Fuck me up
Unwanted exposure fucked me up Michel
I knew it was wrong but I painted over it,
Said it’s all just porn and academia in real life
But I’m bristling in the city centre
I think it’s lurking behind every corner
I’m crying in the sushi place
Into my miso.
I’m screaming in my mind Michel
I think I’m fucked in the head, like I am so fucked up
I can’t distinguish real life from fiction
I entered a gap year den of shit
I want to maim the shithead
He tried to wear me down
I didn’t wear down
He tried to worm in, I dry heaved
He didn’t take it as a hint
I hate the smell
Michel
I fucking hate all the inferiors like him
Raised in barns, probably
No coasters and no coffee table
I’m wearing the skin of a 22 year old tboy
Fuck knows if he even exists
There is no food.
I am exposed to stupid shit
Fuck, Michel
I am so so so so fucked in the head.